Reflecting

What you see, is NOT what you GET

Mirrored are our reflections

But we are merely inflections

Of  OURselves

Our resemblance uncanny

It’s hard to see our differences…

And yet they do exist.

Opposed and exposing – the flaws

that LIE

in truth is all to be seen.

Cracks run deep.

Foundation weakening…

How do you hold up – what wants to fall down?

Give way to the growth

Dying inside…

Give birth to what’s trapped inside

Mirrored are our reflections

interjecting are our perceptions…

ALL being deceptions.

Beyond looking-alike, we often seek those who reflect us… in a way in which we ourselves cannot be shone. Likeness is what we are made of.

Inflection – M-W.com (Merriam Webster)

3a: the change of form that words undergo to mark such distinctions as those of case, gender, number, tense, person, mood, or voice b: a form, suffix, or element involved in such variation

Day One. Right Now. (Quickie)

I thought and by the time you get this, it will be late. But I thought about what i was doing and then thought about what I wanted to do and got lost in thinking which took up more time then what my worth was when it happended but didn’t transpire. What I didn’t put through was the effort it actually takes to becoming who I will be now. Each moment is essential to the build up of me. Each move I make directly affects the path I will take. The people I will encounter, the ideas that will cross, the names and faces of unknown people to meet. Thats later and although this is now we coexist. Always wanting to go where you’re trying to get and never getting there means that you’re lost. You don’t make it. Never arrived. Hmm…. So many people love the show Lost but didn’t and misunderstood it. Well, we’re lost.

The point is to try to make it. You only got one time to do it. You got one chance to make it. A single choice.

Sleep to Dream

I use to be a dreamer. I would spend days sleeping just to dream. My dreams varied and often were out of my control and yet I strove to dream. It was there I could make the life I wanted the life I “dreamt of”. I didn’t realize that life itself is a dream. “Row, row, row, your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream”. As a child hearing that song I was frighten. Frighten by the fact that life was false and that somehow or another I would one day not wake up and realize that this part of “life”/living was a dream.

Traumatized by that I became an insomniac. I never wanted to miss a beat. A moment of what was “going on”. Sleepless nights and days was not important to me. Living and seeing/consuming everything around me became the utmost of importance.But while not sleeping and trying to embrace life, it slowly starting slipping away from me. Instead of making life a reflection of the reality of my dreams I saw the horrors and nightmares of what I thought it meant to be awake. The injustice to man from and by each other. The harshness in which people struggled to survive and in anxious decided this wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. The life I dreamt of was elusive to me. The life I lived seemed unbearable and so I returned to sleep and dreaming. I’ve spent most of the rest of my life dreaming of how things would be if I were the maker of my destiny.

The other day it dawned on me that God has always granted me the power to control how and what it was that I saw. What I hear and the things I choose to listen to. Most importantly I realized who I wasn’t listening to. I wasn’t listening to me. My inner voice filled with the love and light of God just went dark. I faded away and the things around me became darker and asleep I went.

I’ve been fighting the temptation to dream. To keep my thoughts a prisoner inside of my head. I feel like it is my duty to break them out and to create into the world the things I see. The things I feel. The things I know. We deserve so much better than this. Thinking and knowing are two different things. But life and dreams are the same thing. It’s the only reality that we have to bring forth the greatness trapped within us all.

Balancing Act

In my life I’ve always striven for balance. As one who cannot hover in the cross of unknowing shades of grey, I either am or am not. I have often thought of myself as one who gives what they get and get what they give. While the latter part is not necessarily true because of others selfishness I realize that giving what you get falls short of not only what I want but what I need in order to survive (surviving being the ability to live in this world of it).

Being spiritual I know the difference of being and the difference of existing. Existing I want to tie myself to something tangible in this world. I want to feel grounded, known, appreciated, like I matter. Being, I know that I matter. I know that I may never know how I affect the lives of others or whether my actions have any real consequence in the world in which we exist – but in Being, I have faith. In faith I know that my value of existence can’t be measured in the things I would have reassuring me.

My balance. This thing that seems often to elude me does it’s job well. I’ve been chasing after this idea my entire life thinking that it is obtainable. What a joke and one that I’m learning to laugh at.

Life is about giving not receiving. When you give you receive beyond comparison. When you give, the worth you afford others is paid back immeasurably.

My father has often taught me no matter what someone else does, you do what you are called to do, what you are expected to do, what you need to do… I always thought, well that’s unfair. Why should I follow through when others give up or give in (whether circumstance or choice). I’ve since learned why your choice should not lead to the circumstances of you failing the world, another person or yourself because of their failure. If all contributions (or attempts at them) lead to failure we would have nothing to show for it.

We make time for the things we take the time for. What does that have to do with balance? What does that have to do with existing and being?

Giving is a privilege. It is a “rite” (which the root word and origination of has to do with math… equations). Getting the tie in yet? Equating…I think the reason why I like the show “Touch” so much because it is a reflection of how each and every action or inaction on our part consequently affect each others. Balancing and the act of it becomes making the world one in which all things are equal. No one thing (person) is great then the other. NOW, the time of the present, the choice of the present, the ability to exist is all a tie to BE-IN-G.

Be-In-God in my mind. Whether religious or not. When you take into consideration others (as God does) your focus, the turn out and the input for the greater good of us all is put into BALANCE.

In our lives we see inflections of this in civil rights and the equality of all. We understand that everyone is entitled to freedoms but fail to see how our choices affect others. Existing becomes the mode of being… Being, gets lost in existing. Seeming like one in the same we are lost to confusion. A trick. An illusion. The sacrificing of our freedom by the limitations of the “other/s”.

I believe like God. I think at times like God (in only a way that I understand His thoughts in my mind because I do not claim to know His thoughts or even the ability to fathom His “understanding”). I’m learning to accept people and things as they are and love regardless. In our world, it seems impossible at times but its doable only to those who get it done. Doing is the act of accomplishing but done is having accomplished the end result.

I want to stand up and scream if I thought someone would listen. Would benefit from what I’m saying… what I’m meaning… More often then not I feel like my words fall on deaf ears. I feel that people go with easy because putting in work, real work (aside from lazy non-doers) seems more like a don’t then a do. Why do so much when you can do so little (and seemingly) get the same compensation? ß That is an illusion by the way.

My above words are meant as an ignition to ignite the passion in others to not only treat people as they want to be treated but that knowing in giving selflessly, giving whole heartedly and without restriction creates a balance that manifests itself in the world. It’s seeable beyond the agreeable hope and imagined idea of “World Peace”. It’s one that everyone hopes for but doesn’t believe in. It starts with each one of us doing our part and not succumbing to greed, lies and power (for they truly are the downfall of us all).

“You take away the ability of choice when you present an illusion as truth” – Known

(I believe this blog to be undone)

Feelings & Emotions

Balling up a piece of paper is what you feel. It’s an identification with an action that causes you hold something tangible. To focus your being toward an object for destruction.

Emotions are what carry you through. What gets you from here to there. What moves you. What keeps pushing you and challenging you. What forces you to deal and face the very things you’d wish you could run, hide… cover your face up from. Bury your head in the sand type ISH.

But seeing the sun. Well that’s something different. No matter how you see it you SEE THE LIGHT (God reference – isn’t He Good?! All the time). No time to let your guard down and let in something that just wants to get out. When you free yourself… when you allow something to exit you without you stuffing it back in and keeping it somewhere it doesn’t want to be… YOU ARE FREE.
Two feelings often related and misunderstood to be the other. So like many things in our life the opposite is confused with truth and truth the opposite of confused.
Emotions now can exist without feelings. How you say? because it does not need to be in order to exist. What I say? I mean that an emotion being something that moves you is created in the moment. Like the first time you hear a symphony or something like that… (A ha…) At first glance it is amazing. Beautiful to your eyes because your ears have yet to witness and put into motion the idea of what it creates and represents in front of you. MOVING…

Emote I believe is the root of that word. (Websters online) – to give expression to emotion especially in acting.

Feel is a false safety. It makes you think and often go with your first response. Well if you didn’t take Chemistry would you still know how to do it?

Definition of FEEL transitive verb
1a : to handle or touch in order to examine, test, or explore some quality b : to perceive by a physical sensation coming from discrete end organs (as of the skin or muscles) 2a : to undergo passive experience of b : to have one’s sensibilities markedly affected by 3: to ascertain by cautious trial —usually used with out 4a : to be aware of by instinct or inference b : believe, think <say what you really feel>

RIGHT!!!!

What more can I say that I haven’t already? The words define themselves. They are tangible. But the realist real of it all is that I have emotions. Feelings I choose to have. Just because one isn’t expressed doesn’t mean the other is absent.

It’s like love+feeling=physical(sex)
love+emotion=eternal(faith)

Emotion, motion, the act of moving is linked to perception only in that what you think as movement, as responses, reactions, appears to the eyes. But like brainwaves, when unmonitored how can you determine the activity that spikes lines like giant waves. In a flash, the instant of an instance, past the darkness, pass the light, past and through all the boundaries that would hold me prisoner, stuck in the smothering, burying of the joy that is my soul the happiness that is my being… there is no measurement… no gauge… no way to see if what is – is there… like a flashback, a dream lived in the moment of that moment I move through motions admiring, acknowledging, accepting and letting it go. How do you sum that up into words? The actuality of and totality of being? #wordsLOSTamongMEANING

Taalima & Taaliba

I did the difference between Taalima vs. Taaliba. I think its funny because again both my names make up who I am (not to mention my sign). I thought I would share this with you guys.

 

You entered: Taaliba Rich

There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 48
There are 5 vowels and 6 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3

A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.

You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.

The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.

On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn’t appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 9

An Inner Dream number of 9 means:
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and want to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.

 

You entered: Taalima Rich

There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 50
There are 5 vowels and 6 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3

A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.

You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.

The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.

On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn’t appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11

An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the ‘word’ from on high.

Undone

I resist doing what I think I should do because part of me is scared to unleash it and… I guess that’s really the answer. I feel like I overdue everything. Part of me wants to believe that because people have told me I’m dramatic half my life that some part of me has come to believe it. Also, I try so hard to be calm that it scares me because my calm is suffocating me. In my attempts to be the best not perfect I’ve strayed away from perfect. I know that no one is and I know that I cannot achieve that but the idea of perfection, that has another allure all of it’s own. If I made up my bed when I got out of it. If I washed dishes when I was done with them. Completed college. Finished a book I’ve ever started that didn’t involve sex or a mystery to be solved.

Maybe naturally I’m just conflicted. Maybe it’s the duality in me. Fighting equally for a chance to survive. To exist. To present the case that ultimately one side is better then the other. There are sides. Sides that constantly battle in my head. In my interactions with others. In my words. In my movements. How do polar opposites exist and yet co-exist. I’ve often wondered how I’ve kept me from becoming undone. How do I hold “me” together?

Don’t want to leave things undone

It’s like a flash bulb went off. Literally. There was a flicker at this thought. There is the one part that lives in the spiritual world. One that knows she is not less than. She is whole, complete and loved. Never lacking is the kind of thing that confidence shows and conceit embodies. Why conceit? When one knows themselves in who God is in relation to who they are then that word which means “1. An unduly high opinion of oneself” is truly justified. Often associated and used negatively (like love = love hurts – people hurt not love) the tone takes on that in which you take it.

Then there’s “me” here. In this place. In this existence that while encouraging me to be my best wants me not to be the best because of their ultimate lack. It’s easier to suppress genius then to try and out wit it. Hmm… maybe that is what a Gemini’s real duality is. Not so much the battle, the natural confliction, the conceit of knowing they are great, but functioning.

I want to let loose but not stand out. I want to be “normal” but different. I want to be the allness that IS. I just want to “KNOW”.

One of the meanings of my name is “Seeker of Knowledge”. My sign (I so want to get into how my favorite number is 6. I’m the third sign of the zodiac. I’m my own twin. June is the month in which I was born. No real relevance but there could be if you did the numbers 6, 3, 2) a Gemini which also means to seek (what it is). No one knows but God. Jesus was the only perfection to walk the earth. I strive to be like Him and yet by defeating me I’ve defeated myself that is Him.

Maybe I’ve not understood or rather I’ve misunderstood how to be of the people, by the people for the people. I guess that’s why I wanted to be a psychiatrist. One who can diagnose, treat and prevent mental and emotional disorders. WOW, that’s a laugh. A hardy laugh. God loves me for who I am. That I know. I have to accept this is who I’m meant to be. I’m being tested as are those that are placed in my life for whatever reason or season.

I often start and stop writing in one place/paragraph because I often think of something else I want to say. Well in not wanting to leave things undone I am undone. I forget that I left off. I forget the thought that I once had that would “clear things up”. I forget the knowledge I sought and seek the knowledge that I often “making the choice” forget. Everything I just said either confirms my previous statements about myself or just add to the delusion of the “me” that I am.

This whole discovery started because I look “perfection” in the face everyday and I shy away from it. I’m conflicted in trying to be who I think I should be, instead of being who God has called me to be. To be my natural self scares me because it feels as though it can’t be contained. To be who I am I would have to stand out and not want to fit in. I would have to be different and loved for exactly who I am as I am.

I guess I’d have to ask WWJD? (get it sounds like a similar story or at least to me it does)

I’m suppose to be exactly who I am is the answer. Stop trying to figure that out and just be. God says be still and I do everything but that. And I’m starting to believe this is not a coincidence.

(read next Taalima & Taaliba)

A Sober Mind vs. A Clear Mind

A Sober Mind vs. A Clear Mind

I feel as though this argument is going to be persuasive but instead it is merely a glimpse into what has now been made simple to me. You will draw your own conclusions, identify because it makes since or just read what I’ve wrote (written if you think it sounds better).

What is sober? In my opinion it is the act of one cleansing themselves of something “other”. Other falls under the category of anything that is not your original state of being. Too abstract? Sober is when there is nothing making you intoxicated (well except life because it’s a blessing).

Sober is essentially a distraction. It’s a lack of focus that keeps you from pretty much reaching your goal, following through on your word and simply put: applying yourSELF.

Sober is the form of recovery from something. If you don’t deal with that something you get lost in “dealing with that something”. We see the cycles often times in relationships, food, sex, shopping, the internet etc. We get so lost in that we can’t see the finish line and worst we don’t ever believe we’ll get there. How do you get where you’re going if you can’t see yourself there? You can follow directions but what signs are you missing. (Stop and smell the roses anyone? – what does that really mean to you?)

So there’s this recovery. Which means that’s first, there’s a second and well 3 is a graduation of sorts. You can even move on and put it behind you or…. You can move on and everything you left is behind you.

You give up when you stop trying. You give in when you stop trying. You defeat yourself when you stop trying. Defeated, you give up to be IN (should really be read defeated, you’ve given up trying), when you stop trying.

You don’t just fall out of touch with things, people, life that surrounds you that you’re suppose to be living but you fall out of “yourself”. You stop being you for the sake of something else. You struggle for a control you aren’t willing to have for yourself but won’t willingly give to God (faith in your-self, a reflection of who we‘re created to be).

You’d rather rack your brain with disappointment, fear, loathing, hate and all things that would tear you down. You feed into it. You do to yourself all the things you think others are doing to you and so you won’t ask for help. There’s always help. There’s always a way, a clear mind.

A CLEAR mind allows you to focus. It’s leaving nothing behind. It’s remembering that everything doesn’t have to be done at once but what does is important and critical to your next step. It’s taking the time to put energy into what you’re doing in the moment. It’s allowing yourself to “focus on the task at hand”.

Being the best isn’t what it’s about. Let me be “clear” on that. Being your BEST is the best reward. When you shine it’s out of love and attention to the skill that you possess. A skill can be anything that you do well. – so wouldn’t it be great if you applied yourself to everything you’ll do and take the time to get done?!

It seems that there is sense in this and yet before our eyes we see it and never see it. You have to say thank you for those moments. You have to say thank you for the clarity. To put nothing else before you, nothing but God (and for those who are non believers this is also true. My message is about God and to deny that would be to deny Him. I understand we may not see eye to eye on that but we can agreeJ ) the task at hand or whatever it is that you are dealing with becomes simple.

All those sayings “what you do in the dark will come to light”, “stop and smell the roses”, etc., represent one basic idea. When there is no distraction there is no need for a reaction JUST BE-In-G. Abstract? Okay. Sober=aSubstance-self, your lack of participation in the human experience, the experience of love and interaction with others; the ability to function.

ClearMind=( )+knowing. If you can see what’s in front of you, know it like a skill, you’ll have a clear understanding in all things big or small.

Honestly. what would your choice be?

 

Evaluating Our Priorities

In a television filled age it seems that this world if filled with people who want nothing else but to be somebody else. I wonder why? As I sit back and watch the world it is a reminder of how grateful I am to be me. How grateful God has made me in awakening and realizing who I am in Him. I love myself better then anyone else could and who I am no one else can compare. Why pretend to be someone I’m not? Why pretend to be like someone else rather then Christ? The biggest superstar, the best trend setter and go getter. Who could be better for me to follow, idolize or be like?

We think life is so hard. We think that the “easy way” is the only ways we can survive it. It’s easier living off someone else? Copying what you see? Using people to get what you want? Misleading those under the pretense of love?

Living off others makes you a slave to them. If they are taking care of you, you feel the need to take heed to their words. How they want you to behave, look, sound and yes even act. They feel like they have authority over you and you continue the notion because you’ve given up your voice, your freedom for an “easier way”. It’s not that easy. To suppress who you are, your individual and divinely beautiful self. You lose the power God blessed you with because of fear. Fear that without this person, without the support they offer you, you won’t be able to make it. You can. It’s as simple as knowing you can. Believing that you can (it is truly that simple, you realize that when you realize who you are in God). God will remind you of the strength you have when you let go and realize that the only one holding you back from living the life you want to live is within your reach.

I watch young men walk around with their “cheeks” showing thinking it’s cute (emulating – b : imitate; especially : to imitate by means of an emulator ) . Looking like everyone else. Not knowing that the message they send means “I’m available”. Funny thing is they swear they’re not gay. If your butt is hanging out of your pants what message are you sending exactly? What is the expression you’re conveying? What exactly are you expressing? Comfort? Right, because it’s comfortable walking around like a penguin, carrying your jeans every where you go?  You don’t even realize the slave you’ve become to the clothing that is “not binding you” (but is).

Is this really about coolness? Fitting in? How much of an individual can you be if you’re trying so hard to blend in? Be apart of people who care nothing for you and would turn on you if they ever thought you were greater then them?

I’m full of questions that I don’t need answers to. I don’t live in the life of pretend. Fronting, trying to keep up with the Jones’. Why not follow God, live a life of peace and prosperity? Everything that you do contrary to that permits pain, loss, struggle and dis-ease among other things. It’s funny to me that people look at God as uncaring, unloving, or just someone with too many rules and regulations to follow. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t know the truth for yourself. When you’re too lazy to do the work because you think there’s an “easier way”.

I watch young women who think it’s cute to sleep around or to move on from man to man for a buck. What is your worth? What are you proving yourself worthy of? A dollar? How can you measure your life by system that is seemingly continuing to lose it’s own value? Having a baby for money? Not caring for your child as the blessing that they are but rather what can you get for them? Wow. Where is your worth? How do you put a price tag on your life and sell yourself so short? You give up before you try and would rather rely on someone who doesn’t care for you then God who loves you and wants to give you everything.

It hurts that Love is used as a weapon. So easily said but never believed or realized they are giving themselves away to be used in a way which is counter productive. You want to be taken care of? Take care of yourself! Give yourself away to the only person who truly loves all of you and wants the best for you. You can look in the face of others, many many others and see that they are just staring blankly back at you. They have nothing to give you that will make you feel whole, complete or worthy of anything more then the dollar you’re willing to lay down for.

Children all over the world are suffering. Stuck in the ignorance of their parents, their environment, growing up pretending to be a reflection of what they see. They are confused. We wonder where the world is going wrong and fail to realize that this vicious cycle is one that continues to continue simply because of the choices we make. Be responsible (don’t be a discouraging discourager – previous blog).

HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE. Life is not what you see people pretending to live on television. Selling out their friends, family and loved ones for a quick buck?! Willing to step over you and on you so they can be better then what? What is the goal? What are you aiming for? You can have all the money in the world and still not be rich. The very thing, the Spirit of God that you lack is the only thing that can see you through. It’s unfortunate you don’t see that because of the luster of all those things that can quickly tarnish.

What Happens When Love + Love = No Love At All?

You are left wondering where did the love go. Well the love didn’t go anywhere. It’s still there the people aren’t. (If you believe as I do that the energy that flows flows for all time, That once created it, it doesn’t ever disappear it becomes something else) Sometimes we focus too much on the wrong things that we don’t see the right things.

Then there is always the chance that two people don’t see the same things and see things differently/from a different perspective. No one is wrong and no one is right. When you see that and are willing to get past it or at least try, ( if all things are a “work in progress” – you make progress through work, repetition and gradually) nothing get’s left out. You’re remembered because you remember to. You do because it should be what it does. 

Although some of us are able to and ready to get things in moments (genius in your own way) there are a few that still believe they can’t simply because they hadn’t even tried. (I was once and maybe still that person. I’m trying new things all the time but I guess not applying all the new things all the time./I never know what i’m saying. Even as I read that back I think I try those things and it seems they don’t work or i’m doing it wrong.

Even when things have rules you have to wonder if you’re doing those right why are they not working out? THere comes a moment and you realize (AHA) that if you’re not doing what IT says then you have to be honest with yourself. It’s not going to work. love + love = no love as long as whatever you’re trying is what’s causing you to part from it.

We start off wanting to blame God but that doesn’t work. IF you blame God for what you do then you weren’t hearing the love you’re trying to seek. Loving one’s other “self” takes a talk you have to always be willing to have. It takes you to take the moment and apply all the things you’re thinking to God. (It takes you a moment like this to realize. Be grateful for and enjoy the tears that burn and sing down your face for a joyful reason.) You are who God wants you to be. It’s a matter of you thinking (not that you’re really thinking and thats the problem) that who you are and who everyone else  IS, the Love of God (the One. Being at One.)

We struggle against the contrary (contrary-a fact or condition incompatible with one another according to Merriam Websters dictionary) and think that in turn we are struggling to get the things we want. Listen to that. Struggle, struggle, struggle. Who wants that? Not you, not God.

With ease I let the words flow into me
poetry, I rhyme and reason for a purpose
for a season.

I love and let if flow from me a whole of me that takes control of me. the good the memories of what we had.

But I have something, Someone, some love that loves the best of me. That loves the whole of me. That completes me and promises to set me free. My God.

And although I may treat Him unfairly He gives me love unconditionally as long as I let His love in. He keeps me from the harm of sin and protects me like I am the image of Him. Something not to be tarnished but polished.

I’m learning to focus. My distraction is the attraction for breaking away. From leaving this life of punishment, tiredness and energy draining things that make me less then who I am. Less then who I’m meant to be. We have to learn to truly let go and let God.

This is not the… hmm anybody want burger king? kinda crowd. It takes you to think that you’re grown to realize you are still a kid if you think your way can be “the right way”.

It is something scary to truly ex\\accept because everything else in life has made you feel like it/you weren’t trustworthy of the self (the preservation and survival of the chills you think of as frills which leads you to shaking the Goodness away.

If I’m learning nothing else that for every push there is shove. For God there is only love. The one real constant. Love + Love = Love. You would know that if you knew yourself.

We have to learn that we are the words in which we use to convey from one another to each other. When we do that there is nothing to misinterpret but rather a knowing (an already convinced idea). Hence you are who you say you are literally.

Too often we seek and are at the will of the wrong things. Thats why all those things

(money, sex, food, sleep) when placed before God doesn’t bring the happiness you’re seeking. I guess another thing i’m learning. Or I can say I learn is that a good distraction is a greater sin. There is always a time and place for each of these things because the point is not to be without it’s to be WITHIN! 

Don’t worry. You’re always changing and adjusting to who you’re going to be but like time there is no visual change only what you want to see when you look there. It’s a constant. Change is. God remains the same. You could remain the same if you didn’t continue to get distracted.

When you let go and do so with a different  “lead” = Leader/God you realize you’re going places you’ve always thought & knew you could go. Doubt is a distraction. It keeps you from what you want faster then anything else. As soon as the thought “I can’t” (my real in person father told me from a young age that there is no so word as I can’t and yet I was too blind to see it. I could have saved my own life in that moment and instead I used the words he said and never forgot but HELP ME SING IT…. DIDN’T APPLY.

Application like practice is what gets you there. It truly is a snowball. Tiny thousands of little individual snow flakes rolled into one and combining to continue and  make a force that cannot be stopped. (Sound familiar? God…) And just think, is that who we are suppose to come. Who we are in His image. And it all starts with a thought. Love.

Until we can see that in ourselves we won’t ever see it in a person. “We create” shouldn’t be and yet it is a paradox in which we often illude ourselves to. YOu wonder how you get there when really you know the answer. Somewhere along the lines you walked off the path and instead at arriving you got lost somewhere.

There goes that word. Struggle. You wrestle with the idea and why the bible tells you that God literally wrestled with “your idea” it’s because it’s not His and it shouldn’t be you. We spend so much of our lives trying to tune things out. Look ahead and “get there” that we’re always right where we are. Still questioning and still unknowing. The words touch me in a way that makes me want to crawl out of my skin. 

Unknowing makes you feel trapped. It leads to doubt and I guess thats why they are kin. These ideas my sound familiar but they are my words. They are Gods words and thats why it sounds so familiar to us. We are echoing an unknowing thing and God tries to help us know but answering. Too often we’re too busy talking still to pay attention. (I guess me like right now)

When you make everything Good in your life. Your life is good. It’s a responsibility to yourself and you even start to notice that those around you are good too and blessed by your pressence. Hmmm… love + love = love.

We always say well we have to be realistic. God wants to know and i guess you should too that when you’re being realistic what are you being “real about”? What you think? or what you know?

Why do people fall out of love themselves with essentially themselves (or other halves I believe you call it?) Because we were never taught to believe that we were truthy worthy of it; deserved it; recognized it; EMBRACE IT; because we thought instead of knew what love is. You wouldn’t have to do all that you would just LET IT BE. Remain the constant of what IT is AND WHO IT IS (that is also we. Start to know it, start to show it and watch what grow-eth) We plant the seed that becomes a tree. The only way to rot is from the inside out. Outside of you (like this world and the things we think “damage” us is only the image) in can then only be a reflection of what you’re casting (your sense of beauty) – or 

A lot of us use the word so loosley that some don’t believe in it’s meaning. It’s why hope is such a powerful thing. You are willing to imagine so much more then what you feel is limited to you. It’s not love.

Listen people, thoughts like beliefs leave you to believe there is something you don’t know. Space even if a tiny one can create a place where the negative lies and (in) wait-s.
When you love passionately – when you love in a way in which you are not focused the absurdity of it melts away. Like time you realize you can exist unlimiteldy. A way in which you are not limited, weighed down but instead lifted up like help me sing it… GOD. A force beyond measure and yet so great No one Thing can contain IT but all the things that contain it does!!!! It took me a second to catch on to that too!

I almost tried to lose myself but I’m taking the moment to remember that which applies and is actually real, realistic not being a focus but rather a knowing. You are and God is something beyond measure, so great that that all the things/people/places the meaning of what a noun is. the all inclusive is apart of that which includes you.

I am not done…. Everything you see are the things God created. When you see yourself in them all you see is God and then things He created in you. The things in which you also help to create. He gives us and inspires within us the power to create. Thats what love is. It  is creating. Creative. Created. It is alive and spreads into the very things that go into it’s making. You are what you make should be what we truly mean when we say you are what you eat!

People get lost. Easily. Too easily. Forgetting that instead of laughing at “you are what you eat”, remembering that it means you are that which you make. Art, love, war. It’s the only to love = love + love.

It seems that I can stop here or keeping going. The greatest thing about ending is that I know there is no end. No time. There is only that which I create and once started it can’t be stopped. It was created at the beginning and it will be always LOVE. (NOT – No One Thing in which you choose to leave behind).

Life will take you where you want to go, Hope will take you where you wish to be. God will lead you to what you truly are. The power lays within the word. The word lays within our heart. Our Heart is what leads us to love. Love is a knowing. Knowing is acknowleding the absence of thought. Thought robs us from creating. Creating that which is created(LIMITLESS.) Free’s us from the notion of time. Time has no beginning or End. No end means you can continue going. Love remains true to ITself, it continues going. Truth is what you know when you learn to know God. You are God and all these thing that become apart of you is exactly the same thing He had in mind when He Created us in His image.

12:37am. Wedsnday March 15, 2011. Full.